In an Age of Player Empowerment, BYU’s Star Wing Succumbs to NIL Excess
“Even the strongest souls can be led astray by fortune,” lamented All-Conference guard Richie Saunders to local journalist April Fool stein.
Richie Saunders, heir to the Ore-Ida tater tot empire, capitalized on a breakout season with BYU basketball in 2024-25. He put up an impressive stat line of 16.5 points, 4.5 rebounds, and 2.0 stocks (steals and blocks combined, an oddly convenient defensive metric), all polished off with a dazzling 43% shooting from deep.
A beloved figure in the BYU program, Saunders has embodied the bright, charismatic energy of head coach Kevin Young’s thriving system. Once labeled as just a scrappy role player, the junior skyrocketed to national prominence, earning All-Big 12 First Team recognition.
Yet, in the landscape of NIL riches, even the purest can be transformed into something unrecognizable. With Saunders’ royal tater tot lineage unveiled, his status in Utah circles has reached mythical proportions.
“So, you make a little cash and suddenly you can’t command respect?” a frustrated Saunders told Full Stein in an interview.
Sources report that Saunders began showing up to practice carried on an antique palanquin by four male cheerleaders, tossing tater tots as compensation.
Word spread that Saunders insisted on being addressed as King Richard. During home games, he would recline at his locker while personal attendants fed him grapes, cooled him with palm leaves, and strummed harps—a perk even his teammates found oddly pleasant.
“I thought Richie—uh, Richard—spent his NIL money on a Mustang,” said senior teammate Fousseyni Traore. “You can imagine my shock when he rolled up to practice on an actual horse.”
As his reputation grew, outlandish tales followed.
“He strolled right up to the governor’s office—no appointment, no clearance, nothing,” reported a state capitol security guard. “When I stopped him, he just lowered his sunglasses and said, ‘Do you know who I am? Watch your tone,’ and kept walking! The audacity!”
Even his closest friendships felt the strain of his newfound grandeur. Whether in conversation, at events, or even in his wardrobe choices, the change was evident.
“That headband he started rocking this season?” revealed teammate Trevin Knell. “At practice, he wears a laurel wreath instead. No clue where he even got one. At least it’s not a toga.”
With April in full swing, the madness of the season is on display. The transfer portal is now open, and rumors swirl that BYU’s star seeks an absurd “over $100 million billion” to stay, threatening a transfer.
Saunders was once a symbol of promise for his community, but the trappings of inherited power have tainted even the best.
Another soul lost to NIL’s influence. On this April 1st, may we all remember: it’s not about the money—it’s about the friends we meet along the way.